appearance vs reality. No, thats not just a theme in shakespeare, its a major theme in life. Sometimes, when u assume what someone is just by looking or analysing, its not always right. For instance, someone might not seem to care. He might seem indifferent or cold or who-cares. But then, it all comes down to the inability to express oneself. or maybe its just plain ego. i was watching a movie (yea yea, i know, ive been watching a lot of movies lately.. haha), well, ok, i guess i'll cut the movie-craps.
One thing im dying (i dont know what is it with me and this word..) to do before i leave is to go to KK. i want to go horseriding again! i havent been riding in a long time. and i mean a long time. i mean, the last time i went riding was, what, 2 years ago? well, maybe not that long, maybe slightly over a year, but i seriously dont remember the last time. wait, maybe it was right after pmr? yea, i think that was it, when i got a cut on my back part for riding too much. but it was fun though that time, coz i got to swim with the horses. haha. i just want to feel the horse underneath me and the wind in my face again. its a really nice feeling, to sway with the horse's movement, to know that ur in control of an animal that at any moment might get out of control (maybe thats an exaggeration, but otherwise, whats the difference to a car? ). Its pure bliss!
another thing i want to pick up before i go. well, actually, 2 more things. the first, i want to start taking photos again. i mean creative shots and stuff, u know. build up my archive of miri shots. im going to start going around and capture the ambience that makes miri so special to the hearts of many, not least this one. ;) an d i want to to start writing again. i havent written in a long time as well. most probably about the same as the last time i went riding. well, with the exception of writing for competitions (though i think i should exclude the "s" from the word). so yea, im going to do my best and start shooting and writing again!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
miri
one month. thats how much time has come and gone in a period far shorter than stated. thats how much time ive been in miri. looking at time carefully, i start to panic as i realize that the time is coming nearer to when i must leave once more. Just as i start to panic, however, i halt and remind myself - enjoy the present, and leave the past and future out of it. I then start to breathe normally again. After all this time, i'm finally leaving miri. to be honest, its what i have been dreaming of since i can remember. but then, now that ive tasted being away from home, i start not wanting to leave. It saddens me, to know that i wont be spending the most part of the year in miri as i have the past 18 years. It saddens me even more to think that when i finally come back to settle down in miri, the miri then will not be the miri i know now. A part of me is happy for miri, but a part of me dreads this. If miri transforms, will it still be home? I know the question shouldnt even have arised. home is where the heart is. but it'll take some getting used to.
i dont know what to write, really. i watched 200 pounds beauty just now. i thought it was just another goofy movie. but it turned out quite good. erm, maybe guys wouldnt think so, but what can i say? im into movies, any movies, except for sci-fis and lawak bodohs.. hehe. i have this whole stack of movies yet to be watched. i think there are about 10 more. and more new ones are coming out. theyre making them faster than they're watched! i take this is a challenge.
anyway, before i start crapping around with goofy i-dont-know-why-its-here stuff, i guess i better stop right now.
i dont know what to write, really. i watched 200 pounds beauty just now. i thought it was just another goofy movie. but it turned out quite good. erm, maybe guys wouldnt think so, but what can i say? im into movies, any movies, except for sci-fis and lawak bodohs.. hehe. i have this whole stack of movies yet to be watched. i think there are about 10 more. and more new ones are coming out. theyre making them faster than they're watched! i take this is a challenge.
anyway, before i start crapping around with goofy i-dont-know-why-its-here stuff, i guess i better stop right now.
Friday, June 22, 2007
masa al khair
ok, i think perhaps i lied when i said i would start posting daily again. well, to err is human. somehow, im even more busy in miri during the holidays than i was in spore when it wasnt holidays. I dont know what im so busy with though. Driving all around, watching movies, just wasting time i guess. not so bad eh? especially when u do all that in miri. oh, miri! its heaven for everyone. Good thing very few know about miri. otherwise it'll be spoilt. hehe.
So i watched "mukhsin" today. Malay movie. But wait, before u go on thinking "what?!? why is he even watching malay movies??", this is something different. It's not like the usual malay movies where it revolves around the higher class, with actors acting like theyre actors, and plots that betray reality. "Mukhsin" is something else. For one, its not a malay movie, its a Malaysian movie. Like my other posts about movies, im not going to spoil anything for you, but trust me, watch "mukhsin", you'll be wanting more.
I've been thinking. The thought of moving halfway around the globe is kind of terrifying, after already lived not too far away for half a year. I mean, i wont be able to come back as often as i did and want, telecommunication costs would be murderous, and i would be awake when everyone is asleep and asleep when everyone is awake. But perhaps what really terrifies (or terrified) me was the thought of being oh so far away from all those im familiar with. But like i said, i've been thinking. I'm not about to let my past hold me back. Thats not how its supposed to work. The future is always forboding, the present is always a half-opened present, and the past is always best. But why must it be like that? Why cant the future be better than the present, and the present better than the past? We usually realize that it actually is, after the present becomes the past and the future becomes the present. By then, its too late, and we savour only the memories. I guess its because we cling on to the past, and always imagine it to be the best part of our lives. ladies and gentlemen, no more! I'm going to look forward, and i'm going to look back. Behind me are the moments i cherish most, and when i look forward, i'll know, that ahead lies wonders that will marvel! Live life to the fullest - i know now that it merely means live life in the present, and stop living off memories, for the time will always come for us to pick on the memories we set out to gather.
for now, i think this is all im going to write. i dare not promise frequent posts again, for i fear it might be broken, but i will, to the best of this ability, do the best i can. =)
masa al khair~
So i watched "mukhsin" today. Malay movie. But wait, before u go on thinking "what?!? why is he even watching malay movies??", this is something different. It's not like the usual malay movies where it revolves around the higher class, with actors acting like theyre actors, and plots that betray reality. "Mukhsin" is something else. For one, its not a malay movie, its a Malaysian movie. Like my other posts about movies, im not going to spoil anything for you, but trust me, watch "mukhsin", you'll be wanting more.
I've been thinking. The thought of moving halfway around the globe is kind of terrifying, after already lived not too far away for half a year. I mean, i wont be able to come back as often as i did and want, telecommunication costs would be murderous, and i would be awake when everyone is asleep and asleep when everyone is awake. But perhaps what really terrifies (or terrified) me was the thought of being oh so far away from all those im familiar with. But like i said, i've been thinking. I'm not about to let my past hold me back. Thats not how its supposed to work. The future is always forboding, the present is always a half-opened present, and the past is always best. But why must it be like that? Why cant the future be better than the present, and the present better than the past? We usually realize that it actually is, after the present becomes the past and the future becomes the present. By then, its too late, and we savour only the memories. I guess its because we cling on to the past, and always imagine it to be the best part of our lives. ladies and gentlemen, no more! I'm going to look forward, and i'm going to look back. Behind me are the moments i cherish most, and when i look forward, i'll know, that ahead lies wonders that will marvel! Live life to the fullest - i know now that it merely means live life in the present, and stop living off memories, for the time will always come for us to pick on the memories we set out to gather.
for now, i think this is all im going to write. i dare not promise frequent posts again, for i fear it might be broken, but i will, to the best of this ability, do the best i can. =)
masa al khair~
Thursday, June 14, 2007
14 June, 2007
Today, the 14th of June, 2007. Exactly 19 years ago, a soul - among many others - was born. A special soul, whose presence has touched so many lives along the way. Life passes by quickly, and before u know it, 19 years have passed. Teenage years are coming to an end, and a new age is starting. The past has definitely defined who you are now - times of joy and sorrow, of hardship and leisure, every moment.
This entry might not be much, but i do hope it conveys the message. We've been through really hard times together, to a certain unmentionable point. But like i said, the past defines who we are, and every ups and downs colours the long journey we go through, and makes it all the more interesting, meaningful, and memorable. The road is about the journey, not the destination. At the end of the day, its not whether we get there or not, its how we got to where we are. And i'm sure that you have spent your journey of 19 years taking roads you will never forget.
Remember, when u feel that times are bad and fate is against you, that you are surrounded by people who care, and there are people who aren't physically nearby who are thinking about you. Never let anything pull u down, keep ur chin up, and hold urself as one who means the world to loads of people.
On this special day, I wish you a very Happy Birthday, Jasper, my dear friend. All the best, and may you enjoy unraveling the gifts that the future bestows upon you. Thank you for being a part of all our lives. =)
This entry might not be much, but i do hope it conveys the message. We've been through really hard times together, to a certain unmentionable point. But like i said, the past defines who we are, and every ups and downs colours the long journey we go through, and makes it all the more interesting, meaningful, and memorable. The road is about the journey, not the destination. At the end of the day, its not whether we get there or not, its how we got to where we are. And i'm sure that you have spent your journey of 19 years taking roads you will never forget.
Remember, when u feel that times are bad and fate is against you, that you are surrounded by people who care, and there are people who aren't physically nearby who are thinking about you. Never let anything pull u down, keep ur chin up, and hold urself as one who means the world to loads of people.
On this special day, I wish you a very Happy Birthday, Jasper, my dear friend. All the best, and may you enjoy unraveling the gifts that the future bestows upon you. Thank you for being a part of all our lives. =)
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
roads
*lights out* im feeling a wee bit romantic right now. ok, no, scrap that. let's see. what do i write about today?
Failure? Disappointments? Frustration? All of us have been through, if not one, all forms of let-downs. At one point of our lives, we must have faced disappointment, suffered a failure, or felt frustration. I know I have, and not one time, but many. It is a part of life, the part where everyone goes through and say, "life isn't fair!". Well, it might be true, life might not be fair. But that's short-term thinking. Look at life as a whole. What would it be, if it were just a string of successes? We each travel life's bumpy roads, we each go our own way - some are bumpier than the rest, and some less than others. It is these bumps, these obstacles, these barriers, that presents us with one of the greatest satisfactions we will ever experience. Im serious! Have u ever tried flying a kite? u know how hard it can be to fly one? when it does go up, theres nothing much to do except hold the string and watch it. So what makes it so fun? its the feeling u get when u look up at it and think, "i got it up there, even though i thought it was impossible at first." Now think, if u can get a kite up just like that, where will the fun be? what is the point of even flying a kite? Its the same with life. Life isnt about the end or outcome, its about the journey. And its not about the smoothe, one stop, direct journey. It's about the journey that tkaes ages, that has to go for detours, and that has to stop at so many places because at times, the road is just impenetrable. That, my friends, is what life is all about.
Another thing about life, no matter how it may not seem so - it IS fair. It might deprive u of what u want most at this moment, but it always gives back. When one door closes, 2 other doors open. Life isnt a straight journey. It is full of turns and junctions, and at each point, u have to make a choice of which way to go. But because u can't see very far ahead, life is sometimes kind enough to close one way completely, because it knows you are definitely going to chose that way, when the other way has so much more to offer. So never fret when u dont get what u want, because maybe, just maybe, it might be life's way of giving u the best it has. Consider yourself lucky when u fail, because it opens up so many doors for u. I know this from experience. ;)
Failure? Disappointments? Frustration? All of us have been through, if not one, all forms of let-downs. At one point of our lives, we must have faced disappointment, suffered a failure, or felt frustration. I know I have, and not one time, but many. It is a part of life, the part where everyone goes through and say, "life isn't fair!". Well, it might be true, life might not be fair. But that's short-term thinking. Look at life as a whole. What would it be, if it were just a string of successes? We each travel life's bumpy roads, we each go our own way - some are bumpier than the rest, and some less than others. It is these bumps, these obstacles, these barriers, that presents us with one of the greatest satisfactions we will ever experience. Im serious! Have u ever tried flying a kite? u know how hard it can be to fly one? when it does go up, theres nothing much to do except hold the string and watch it. So what makes it so fun? its the feeling u get when u look up at it and think, "i got it up there, even though i thought it was impossible at first." Now think, if u can get a kite up just like that, where will the fun be? what is the point of even flying a kite? Its the same with life. Life isnt about the end or outcome, its about the journey. And its not about the smoothe, one stop, direct journey. It's about the journey that tkaes ages, that has to go for detours, and that has to stop at so many places because at times, the road is just impenetrable. That, my friends, is what life is all about.
Another thing about life, no matter how it may not seem so - it IS fair. It might deprive u of what u want most at this moment, but it always gives back. When one door closes, 2 other doors open. Life isnt a straight journey. It is full of turns and junctions, and at each point, u have to make a choice of which way to go. But because u can't see very far ahead, life is sometimes kind enough to close one way completely, because it knows you are definitely going to chose that way, when the other way has so much more to offer. So never fret when u dont get what u want, because maybe, just maybe, it might be life's way of giving u the best it has. Consider yourself lucky when u fail, because it opens up so many doors for u. I know this from experience. ;)
Monday, June 11, 2007
the present
Ok, so im back in miri now. been here for slightly more than 24 hours, and it has been really strange, in a good way of course. appreciating all the trivial things i took for granted. i mean for example, i got into my room last night, i looked around - im alone! i locked the door - wow! i lied down - on my own bed! i turned off the lights - its dark!! it might seem like nothing, but really, u appreciate everything, once u've been deprived of them for some time.
ok, now heres an ackward moment, thinking of what to write. The future? It's always a scary thing, isnt it, the future. I try looking into the future, trying to imagine how life is going to be like. 2 years in wales, 3-5 years in the states, maybe more, and after that, gaining experience elsewhere before finally coming back to Malaysia to settle down - in the meantime, me getting my first million by 20, ;). Sounds all set out - i have nothing to worry about. Or so u think. Thats a long time, probably about 10 years. i'll be, what, 30++? when i come back - IF i come back. We never know what time can do to a person. I might, nauzubillah, God forbid, decide that im better off wherever i am at the time, and just settle down. My "inner circle" might change completely, and i might be a totally different person. Bear in mind, im not talking about myself - im just referring to myself to make it easier to write.
There are so many things to think about, so many things that can happen, and so many changes that could happen. all these might not be welcome now, at this particular moment. and thats what makes it so scary. the thought that in a few years time, that u might find wrong what is so right now. but then again, its all part of life - the changes we go through. One thing helps though, and thats remembering not to worry too much about the future, because the present has enough worries of its own - so i'm busying myself with the present. =)
ok, now heres an ackward moment, thinking of what to write. The future? It's always a scary thing, isnt it, the future. I try looking into the future, trying to imagine how life is going to be like. 2 years in wales, 3-5 years in the states, maybe more, and after that, gaining experience elsewhere before finally coming back to Malaysia to settle down - in the meantime, me getting my first million by 20, ;). Sounds all set out - i have nothing to worry about. Or so u think. Thats a long time, probably about 10 years. i'll be, what, 30++? when i come back - IF i come back. We never know what time can do to a person. I might, nauzubillah, God forbid, decide that im better off wherever i am at the time, and just settle down. My "inner circle" might change completely, and i might be a totally different person. Bear in mind, im not talking about myself - im just referring to myself to make it easier to write.
There are so many things to think about, so many things that can happen, and so many changes that could happen. all these might not be welcome now, at this particular moment. and thats what makes it so scary. the thought that in a few years time, that u might find wrong what is so right now. but then again, its all part of life - the changes we go through. One thing helps though, and thats remembering not to worry too much about the future, because the present has enough worries of its own - so i'm busying myself with the present. =)
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Laksa Sarawak
Assalamualaikum. ;) Ok, so i've not been posting anything for quite some time. Reason? simple. I've been quite busy going out and stuff, so dont really have much time to go online. Besides, im kind of using the neighbour's wireless, so the connection isnt really that good - when there is a connection.
To be honest, im really tired. Going back to miri in a few days, but the past week in kuching has really been wearing me out. But wait, since someone commented that my blog is getting boring-er and boring-ER, i'll spare the details. Lets just get down to business. But the problem is, what business?
Ok, talking about business. Another vision - or dream or whatever u may wish to call it - of mine. Fast food is springing all around. same thing with chinese food and indian food and western food. and its not just here in Malaysia and/or Singapore, its all around the world. Wherever you go, people know about indian food, chinese food, and they know by heart the burgers at McD and KFC and entah what else. So yea, some day, i'm going to start a franchise - Sarawakian food! Laksa sarawak is a must, bubur pedas as well, nuba laya (is that right?) maybe, and lempeng, and lots lots lots lots more~ Someday, u'll be going to a country u've never heard of before, and u'll be seeing Sarawakian food all over. Impossible? Possible. and mark my word, it will become a reality someday. and yea, i do realize, im setting out to achieve a lot. and im starting to panic, how am i going to achieve all that in this short life of mine? But insyaAllah things will get done. ;)
But u know what? hmm.. i forgot what i was supposed to type here. i was typing all this last night, and then the laptop ran out of batery and i dont know where the charger is, so i cant get back online. so here i am, just posting this thing up. a short post this time, like always, but i hope u dont find it as boring as u say this blog is becoming. ;) I'll start blogging regularly again when i get back to Miri.
To be honest, im really tired. Going back to miri in a few days, but the past week in kuching has really been wearing me out. But wait, since someone commented that my blog is getting boring-er and boring-ER, i'll spare the details. Lets just get down to business. But the problem is, what business?
Ok, talking about business. Another vision - or dream or whatever u may wish to call it - of mine. Fast food is springing all around. same thing with chinese food and indian food and western food. and its not just here in Malaysia and/or Singapore, its all around the world. Wherever you go, people know about indian food, chinese food, and they know by heart the burgers at McD and KFC and entah what else. So yea, some day, i'm going to start a franchise - Sarawakian food! Laksa sarawak is a must, bubur pedas as well, nuba laya (is that right?) maybe, and lempeng, and lots lots lots lots more~ Someday, u'll be going to a country u've never heard of before, and u'll be seeing Sarawakian food all over. Impossible? Possible. and mark my word, it will become a reality someday. and yea, i do realize, im setting out to achieve a lot. and im starting to panic, how am i going to achieve all that in this short life of mine? But insyaAllah things will get done. ;)
But u know what? hmm.. i forgot what i was supposed to type here. i was typing all this last night, and then the laptop ran out of batery and i dont know where the charger is, so i cant get back online. so here i am, just posting this thing up. a short post this time, like always, but i hope u dont find it as boring as u say this blog is becoming. ;) I'll start blogging regularly again when i get back to Miri.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
