Malaysia and Malaysians..

As a Malaysian who has never questioned the loyalty and pride for the nation, I never thought the day would come when I would question both. Happenings both within and with-out the country has made me ask, whether Malaysia is still the country it used to be, or whether it really ever was the country it should have been.

So many events have been revolving around the Permatang Pauh by-elections recently, and many more, in a wider aspect, surrounding the issue of the possibility of a change in government. Accusations have been slammed against national figures, retaliations, statements, oaths, and others. It would have been, it should have been, normal in a "democracy", but is it really, when leaders and would-be leaders of a 26 million strong nation are playing games worthy of 5-year-olds? What is the difference to a child accusing his friend, Abu, of stealing his toy, and then, when Abu is being scolded, he retaliates by saying "i only did it because he took my sweet", and then another friend, Ali, not wanting to be left out, butts in just for the sake of it, saying "i saw him do it!", without really knowing what is happening.

Perhaps this is part of our leaders' plan to put Malaysia on the world map? Because i don't think Malaysia has ever been as popular as it is now. World leaders are keeping an eye on our country, some giving comments, some giving demands. Does it make us feel proud that our issue is becoming a world issue? Am I the only one who is ashamed that the one thing that elevates our country high up is the childish squabbles of our leaderS? If leaders represent their people (as they are, theoretically), is the world imagining Malaysia as a land of crying grown-ups, of petty minded and attention grabbing people? If they are, then, Malaysia.. What is happening?

The world is moving, is developing, is maturing, but is Malaysia going with the flow? Or is it trying its hardest to stay in the past? Malaysia is a country of many people, yet we clammer and make noise and hype it all up when some are trying to make Malaysia a nation for all, instead of a nation for just one. When a leader voices an opinion that public universities (note the name, PUBLIC) should start opening up its doors to other races who are also (and equally so) Malaysians, demonstrations are organised, rallies and what not. Whose is Malaysia? a 100% to the 60%, and 0% to the 40% (which might consist of the brightest minds and highest potential), or a 100% to the 100%? Are universities for those who are born into the right race, or is it for those who earn it?

I wasn't too good of a history student, but wasn't Malaysia one of the voices opposing the appertheid in South Africa? Isnt Malaysia one of the top countries in the Islamic World (or so we claim), a religion that pays little attention to race, where everything is brought down to being earned? So, correct me if I'm wrong, and I dearly pray that I am, but in my opinion, it looks like we are moving more and more, and more clearly so, towards a society that passes the right of being Malaysian to those with the right colour, skin, language, and parents.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to doubt my country. I refuse to drop my identity as a Malaysian. I reject the notion of my country's weakness. Was it not just a few days ago, when we as a nation, of a people of various colours, of a community as different from each other as cats and dogs, sat together all over the nation (and all over the world), watching, cheering, for the representative of our country in the Olympics, playing in the finals, vying for a gold in badminton singles? Wasn't that a feat to equal the rest of the world powers?

But i realize, these doubts are not in the nation. We as a people, we as a community, we as a nation, are strong, and have every right to be a proud people. But even the best make mistakes. "setinggi-tinggi tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga". Maybe it is time for us to amend our mistakes, or maybe its time for our mistake to amend itself. Time will tell, and time is coming to a close. An eager Malaysian awaits to see what fate has in store for this great country.. But perseverence.. We Malaysians should never cease to persevere..